Exploring Mt. Everest in slippers.

It's Mother's Day here soon, and my Mum's been on my mind a lot.  I wonder how she would try and support me, because I have no doubt that she would try.  She always told me "You're lucky I love you." when things were hard. All of my life, this was a way my Mum told me that she really did love me.  Any number of times, I did something I shouldn't have, and the phrase 'you're lucky I love you' told me that while she didn't like what I did, I could still rely on her love. We went through some horrific times as a family.  My Mum made decisions that impacted our lives in positive and negative ways, and I never, NEVER, doubted that she loved me.  I did a lot of things my Mum struggled with, and there were times we barely spoke.  We differed on any number of things, but I always knew;  I was lucky she loved me.  That love meant she would never embarrass me in front of strangers (only other family!), when I lashed out at her, she would hide her hu...

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, because I've been ... low.    Depression has so many ways of laying me low, and each one seems the worst while I'm in it.  This latest skirmish was tough.  The latest fight was against The Nothing. If you're the right age, you'll remember the movie The Neverending Story.  The Nothing.  Slowly encroaching on imagination, happiness, joy, life...  a battle that included being stuck in quicksand, being left alone to face an immense enemy, with no weapons but the heart and mind. That. I've done almost nothing in the past few weeks, and if it weren't for my pre-existing loves of football, Game of Thrones, and cups of tea, I'm not sure I'd have made it out this quickly.  Usually a 'pre-existing' condition is a bad thing.  Mine are the spars that remain when I'm running out of things to hold on to.  Haven't been out of my room in days?  My team made it to the Champions League final 16, and to w...

We know why it's a pain in the proverbial.  There's going to have to be effort before we can enjoy whatever it is we've purchased.  Whether it's a dollhouse, a bike, a set of shelves, or cabinetry; before we can get on with using whatever it is - we've got to figure out how it goes together, make sure we've got all the bits, and, irritatingly, there can be multiple attempts to get it right.  Once upon a time my brain was a fully functional piece of kit.  I think.  It could cope with what went on inside it.  Somehow, there came a day when even the simplest of tasks, became an effort of concentration.  My brain still has all the same materials, the same content, and the same potential; but every thought process requires assembly.  Where it used to be a high-speed, multi-functional super-computer; now I have dowels and some beads which, with effort, I can hold together for long enough to use as an abacus. When you've been using a super-comput...