One of the things I've spoken to my counselor about; is what I DO with my days. It's not a lot. It's struggling to get out of bed. It's finding the motivation to eat something that has some nutritional value. Time spent trying to find focus to achieve something, anything. Chapters of books, instead of whole ones. Small puzzles instead of massive ones. Amassing enough oomph to go and buy milk. And lately? While listening to classical music.
Music is profound. There's a reason you don't play dirges at weddings, the William Tell Overture at funerals, or waltzes at the gym. Music is an emotional shortcut (this is why movies have soundtracks after all), it signals the appropriate mood for the moment. Toddlers are the best examples of how music can hot-wire your brain. Ever seen one stop in the middle of a room when a lively song is heard, and boogie on down?
I've discovered over the last few months that I'm not a fan of classical pianists, waltzes, or purely string music. I do like energetic pieces, dramatic percussion filled crescendos of sound, and at the moment, that means a rollicking bit of Rossini. Lack of lyrics mean I don't get bogged down in emotional baggage, and instead, hear only the music; which has energy, and bounce. It helps me to take advantage of the few times a day I maybe could get something done. There's a lot of things I still haven't done (a list of should-dos I try not to let stress me out too much), and there's a lot of things I HAVE. This week, despite having a few 'weighed-down-with-tar' days, I've showered, I've changed my sheets, I did grocery shopping, AND I've made myself a couple of real meals, with actual green healthy things.
I'm taking that as a win. A solid place to acknowledge where I am. I haven't slipped backward this week. It doesn't feel like I've made progress; I continue to yawn my way through the day, nap frequently, zone out, and wonder what the point of existence is. Yet when I look back, progress is happening. It's simply, incredibly slow.
All the more reason to take advantage of this neural shortcut to chivy myself along, with music that gallops, leaps, and twirls.
♫ The beat goes on.
Derri
Music is profound. There's a reason you don't play dirges at weddings, the William Tell Overture at funerals, or waltzes at the gym. Music is an emotional shortcut (this is why movies have soundtracks after all), it signals the appropriate mood for the moment. Toddlers are the best examples of how music can hot-wire your brain. Ever seen one stop in the middle of a room when a lively song is heard, and boogie on down?
I've discovered over the last few months that I'm not a fan of classical pianists, waltzes, or purely string music. I do like energetic pieces, dramatic percussion filled crescendos of sound, and at the moment, that means a rollicking bit of Rossini. Lack of lyrics mean I don't get bogged down in emotional baggage, and instead, hear only the music; which has energy, and bounce. It helps me to take advantage of the few times a day I maybe could get something done. There's a lot of things I still haven't done (a list of should-dos I try not to let stress me out too much), and there's a lot of things I HAVE. This week, despite having a few 'weighed-down-with-tar' days, I've showered, I've changed my sheets, I did grocery shopping, AND I've made myself a couple of real meals, with actual green healthy things.
I'm taking that as a win. A solid place to acknowledge where I am. I haven't slipped backward this week. It doesn't feel like I've made progress; I continue to yawn my way through the day, nap frequently, zone out, and wonder what the point of existence is. Yet when I look back, progress is happening. It's simply, incredibly slow.
All the more reason to take advantage of this neural shortcut to chivy myself along, with music that gallops, leaps, and twirls.
♫ The beat goes on.
Derri
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