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Properly Climbing Now.

Having been settled in base camp for a while now, it's time to start looking forward.  Yesterday I applied for jobs.  I dusted off and updated my resume, and put it out there.  Far more quickly than expected, it yielded results.  Not only did I get responses, I also got an interview.  That interview went well, and they're interested enough to be putting an offer together.

Now I'm freaking out.  If I end up with a new job, I'll have new people to get to know.  New tasks I have to learn.  New routines to establish.

I can do these things.  I know I can.  I have the support of my family and friends.  The fact it's all happened so quickly, is it's own reassurance I have the skills to do the job.

Depression is such a vicious voice in my head.  All afternoon it's been doing its best to convince me I will fail, but I'm learning to fight it.  I'm putting my trust in the people around me.  All of them tell me I can do this.  Every time I think 'I can't do this' I remind myself that my sister thinks I can.  When I think 'I'm going to be rubbish at this'  I hear my friends telling me I have talent.  Thinking 'This is going to be a disaster'  is followed by the recent memory of helping someone understand a complicated calculus equation.










I can do this.  I can climb the Icefall, and make it to Advanced Base Camp.

Derri
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