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Finding Derri

Dory is oddly inspirational.  Things aren't going how you hoped?  Keep swimming.  Lost sight of your goal?  Keep swimming.  Not sure which direction to go?  Keep swimming.  Going it alone?  Keep swimming.  What to do tomorrow?  Keep swimming.

Dory has no expectations of her days.  Not how far she'll travel, how fast, or even in which direction.  Dory just keeps swimming.  She also stays confident.  Even when she doesn't remember learning the skills she needs, she trusts she can do stuff, and, well, she does the stuff.

I'm still learning how to let go of my expectations for myself.  The weight of what I should do, and what I used to be able to do, is a burden that seems glued to me - I can't seem to figure out how to leave it behind. 


Acceptance of what I CAN do is like a foreign language I have to concentrate really hard on.  When I take the time to process how I feel, figure out that it's disappointment in myself due to outdated expectations; I know to forgive myself and try again tomorrow - but I have to take the time to focus on translating how I feel, and I don't always work my way through it properly. 

"Work on forgiving what I imagine my faults are while I work on getting through the day" mistranslated, can lead to:
     -  "As I worked in the afternoon, I left and tried to sign in"
Well, that was weird.  I didn't know how a few random languages through Google Translate would go.  And the wrong translation seems to be how my brain does it.  Things get really hard, I stop work/situation/dinner/socializing and try to do it again tomorrow.

Last week was a good one.  I kept swimming.  I was up and out of bed, dressed and ready to go to work - every day I needed to be.  I ate real meals.  I got stuff done.  My goal was to keep swimming.

Dory's really smart.

Derri
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