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Be the Tortoise.

It's nearly time.

I'm almost there.  The plans are becoming definite in my head.  I'm going to be brave, and move out, back on my own again.  It won't happen in a hurry, there are things I need to get sorted first (finances/transportation), and it will depend on if I can get a place at all.  But, the plans are there.  I'm just about at a point where action will happen.

Pre-Depression, I was able to think a thing, plan a thing, and do a thing, in no time at all.  Even major decisions, once made, were acted on quickly.  Now, not so much.  I've learned that working with Depression means giving ideas time to become rock solid, to settle in deep enough they can't be pushed aside.  Depression doesn't want me to move forward.  It's easiest to live with, when I do nothing.  Easier to get through the days if I'm not pushing against it. 

So I'm learning.  This has been a hard class to get pass marks in.  Moving forward is something I can do - IF I move slowly.  If I rush it, push hard, fight for it; I will get swatted by the Depression, back to a point when I can't. 

Moving slowly, letting the Depression get used to an idea existing, before thinking of ways to make it happen, seems to be working for me.  Letting plans slowly become more solid, gradually becoming more achievable, and letting the plans for action sit there for a while, lets the Depression think I'm still inactive, even though the goals are getting nearer.

I haven't given myself a timeline, or a deadline, to move on, I'm letting the Depression get used to the idea it will happen. 

It WILL happen.


Derri
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