I used the alarm on my phone to get out of a conversation today. I saw an acquaintance coming, and knew the energy drain was going to be too much to handle, so set a ten minute timer. Even with that, extricating myself from an intense conversation took over half an hour. Once I escaped the high drama conversation, I spent the next few hours wondering if I'll ever have that level of disposable energy again. As I type this, it occurs to me that I do - I'm simply spending it on listening, not on raging against the world.
I can, and usually do, hide away from the world, and husband my energy resources for myself. Rarely, I venture out into populated zones and interact, knowing my capacity for conversation is limited. I'm trying to figure out how to expand it [my capacity] when dealing with other people. There's a lot of flexibility in my limits, because family, and most friends, understand, and so are far less drama than mere acquaintances. I'm my own worst enemy there, I like being asked my opinion on things. I like being asked for advice. And. Let's face it. I love giving it. What's proving troublesome, is that I now need a few days to recover from deeply personal discussions.
I feel real satisfaction in helping other people navigate a stressful situation. On the other hand, it takes a massive chunk of mental energy away from my own progress, and eventually I shut myself away, and revert to being selfish with my time.
I've had a full week as far as being an emotional sounding board goes. There's that guy, and that other guy, and that woman, and there's the really intense one, and the one that breaks my heart... I hit capacity quickly this week - now I'm trying to avoid shutting down completely. I think I'm able to stay functional, but holy-moly I'm tired.
Nearly bed time.
Derri.
I can, and usually do, hide away from the world, and husband my energy resources for myself. Rarely, I venture out into populated zones and interact, knowing my capacity for conversation is limited. I'm trying to figure out how to expand it [my capacity] when dealing with other people. There's a lot of flexibility in my limits, because family, and most friends, understand, and so are far less drama than mere acquaintances. I'm my own worst enemy there, I like being asked my opinion on things. I like being asked for advice. And. Let's face it. I love giving it. What's proving troublesome, is that I now need a few days to recover from deeply personal discussions.
I feel real satisfaction in helping other people navigate a stressful situation. On the other hand, it takes a massive chunk of mental energy away from my own progress, and eventually I shut myself away, and revert to being selfish with my time.
I've had a full week as far as being an emotional sounding board goes. There's that guy, and that other guy, and that woman, and there's the really intense one, and the one that breaks my heart... I hit capacity quickly this week - now I'm trying to avoid shutting down completely. I think I'm able to stay functional, but holy-moly I'm tired.
Nearly bed time.
Derri.
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